|IELTS exam sample - topic education|
This essay for IELTS was written by Kally, a student of teacher Zaki. The feedback is written below.
IELTS exam Academic writing task 2
These days, some schools do not have enough money to pay for all the programs they think are necessary for their students. As a result, some schools are considering allowing advertisements in their buildings. Do you think this is a good idea? Why or why not?
In recent years, some schools have allowed advertisements in their buildings because of looking for other financial resources to support students. These are supplies, equipment, and programs for students. They think those things are necessary for their students, although they do not have enough money. However, I ultimately believe that it is a great way.
Firstly, allowing advertisements does not cause problems or harm to schools, students, and teachers. Companies are the first ones that often offer advertisements to schools. The university administration performs these. The contents of the ads are suitable for students. The advertisements will be hung on the wall or balcony. Everything the university does is to prepare the place in which they have to hang a poster.
Secondly, the advertisement contributes to improving the school budget. Universities have a profit; students can have the best equipment and more subject programs. It will help students approach knowledge. I think this is a critical factor in creating a quality class. For example, universities use financial resources from advertisements to create scholarship programs for poor students with outstanding learning achievements.
Thirdly, students can get an advantage from those advertisements because the most crucial post in the university, which has courses and jobs related to such scholarships or opportunities about the job for students that all of them can challenge themselves to grab. Everyone must study abroad after getting a scholarship or a good job. For instance, my friend got a scholarship to study in the UK from a non-governmental organization two years ago when they had come to her university to popularize themselves.
In conclusion, allowing advertisements in universities brings financial stability, giving more types of equipment for students trying to do their best to understand. In contrast, universities do not have money to invest. Therefore, it gives the students many more advantages than they could imagine.
IELTS exam sample feedback
Recently, or in recent years
We use the present perfect for things that happened recently. Subject+have/has+v(p.p)
The past participle for irregular verbs, go: go-went-gone → is gone
The past participle for regular verbs want: want-wanted-wanted → wanted
Past participle for irregular verbs,cut: cut-cut-cut → cut
Measuring word, some + uncountable noun: some tea, some sugar
Some + plural noun: some people, some lessons,...
Another + singular noun: another man
Other + plural noun: other people, other pieces of work, other financial resources
The man with brown eyes has a car, which moves fast.
The man bought a car, in which he could find a radio, a screen, and an air conditioner.
After ‘most’, we put an adjective: You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen in my entire life.
Use ‘and’ to link words of the same category: She is smart and beautiful. She has money and gold. She works well and fine.
Even: used to emphasize something unexpected or surprising
It was cold there even in summer (= so it must have been very cold in winter).
‘In’ can be used for future meaning. The class starts in 2 minutes (after 2 minutes)
avoid using personal pronouns such as I and its reflexive pronouns and determiners to get a better band on the IELTS exam. Remember, the focus is the topic, not you.